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Be advised that the title of this post has no bearing upon the subject matter. It was just something that our dear friend Michael said last night and made is still making me giggle stupidly.


Another decent day of writing; Vol 2 Draft 1 looks like a football score but the word count happily, does not. 6462 / 50000. According to my feeble calculations on the back of a crumbled wet Waitrose receipt, I am nearly two days ahead of schedule.

Nice.

Now I feel I must say that whilst I'm proud of my progress, I don't want to make anyone feel bad about it. I have no job so time is the one thing I have oodles of. I am aware of people who are taking part alongside their full-time jobs and families, and to you, I fall down at your feet and worship because ANY kind of distraction is enough to send my concentration south with a bursting suitcase and a sombrero to Acapulco.

(Cushy.)

The thing for me is that I want to make writing my career. Not smegging retail. I've paid my dues in retail. I've been snotted on and drooled on; mopped up urine, cleared up dogshit and rinsed away vomit; been shouted at, been personally insulted, been told I was stupid, been told I was unprofessional... But I've met so many people who were fabulous and kind and funny and chumly. So I've gained a wealth of insight into the human condition. I've seen so many people on the up; others clinging on in desperation... The day Ada fell into the stack of baskets because she could barely stand and yet she'd come in to pay her milk bill. When Mrs H came in, Boxing Day morning and I clung to her hands because she didn't think her husband would see nightfall. The last time I saw dear gentle Stan, bruised and defeated by a terrible fall. The people I've seen struggling ever onwards quietly, trying to keep their dignity. There's more of them, so many more. I am someone who feels other people's pain very keenly.

And conversely, this is why I present myself as a grinning idiot always looking to make people laugh. Life is; life can be utter shit for us all. It can drag our noses along the ground, grind our faces into the grit and defeat us into cowered submission.

So let us no waste another moment being maudlin and laugh! LAUGH! Laughter, the samurai! It kicks the droopy slumpy arse of crying any day of the week...


You cue 'em up, I'll nod 'em in.

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