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[BLOG] Let's Subvert Philip Larkin!

With reference to Philip Larkin's infamous This Be The Verse, and a tip of the soft-crowned fedora to Adrian Mitchell's delightful This Be The Worst, I give you...


These Be The Hormones by Me, Leonie Smith.
With fervent apologies and grateful thanks to that loveable old git, Philip Larkin.

They fuck you up, your hormones do,
They fuck with your sense of the sane;
They fill up your womb with angry blood
And rampage through your brain.

They fucked you up when you hit 12,
You cried when you found the blotch;
Your ovaries felt like a shot to the gut
and a knitting needle up the crotch.

Woman hands on misery to woman,
It deepens like a coastal shelf,
Pray God for the menopause to appear
and have some relief, for yourself.


I bet my former English teacher Martin Hayden is now whimpering and curled up in a foetal ball, if he's just read that. He reveres Larkin but I'm just an irreverent idiot and your favourite "Seemingly Talentless Halfwit" who can't resist mucking about with other people's work...

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