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[BLOG] Oh Anxiety, Up Yours

So how long is since I last posted? Looks like 3 weeks as the last posted entry is dated the day I missed my first Citalopram.

God, people. I can't describe the utter euphoria I felt on 10mg Citalopram, every other day. I was bouncing off the walls, I was unstoppable. if I'd had the ability, I would've been somersaulting repeatedly down Market Street and the High Street, whooping because THAT'S how great I felt.

And now I'm on stage two and have stepped down to one tablet, every three and a half days. If shit was warmed up, it wouldn't feel this lousy. But if I'm all mournful now, then Anxiety wins (the bastard) and I don't want that. I might feel sicky, and oh yes I feel dizzy and I might have to go throw up soon but Oh Anxiety, Up Yours.

To my credit, I am sticking my fingers up at Anxiety as I said I would. Despite feeling dizzy on Saturday, I made myself go out for a walk round town, hassled my Beloved and the other card players in the Townhouse, tripped on a dodgy paving stone on the Lane and after a change of footwear, I took my library books back. I then happened upon H and N in Caffe Nero and had a brief coffee with them, which was highly appreciated in it's unexpectedness. Even when I was on the Triperafluozine before the Citalopram, I tended to avoid going out if I felt a bit off kilter in any way. So now without the medication, I feel braver and more defiant when it comes to confronting anxiety and self-doubt.

Bizarre.

Twenty one years is much too long to let fear dominate your life. I'm still young, I still have a lot to do...

Three novels to publish, for a start!

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